In August 2020, I logged on to my first Zoom meeting of my college career at home. With my parents’ meetings running in the background, I worked my way through 15-112. I completed the infamous filesystem recursion homework assignment at 3 AM in my closet, long after my family had gone to bed. When I finally moved to campus, I survived on peanut butter pancakes from the Underground for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, taking Zoom classes from my double-occupancy dorm where I lived alone. It was a time of uncertainty and isolation, yes, but I met some of my closest lifelong friends in the face of this adversity.
As I progressed into tougher technical classes over the next few semesters, I found myself struggling with things like executive function, physical health, and concentration. Despite a desire to excel in my academics, I spent hours working on assignments that were supposed to take me less than half the time I spent on them. All around me, my peers were talking about their exciting research, grad classes, and summer internships. Meanwhile, I was barely treading the metaphorical water of psets, lecture quizzes, and exams. I wondered if I was just not cut out for this, if CMU had made a mistake in admitting me.
My less-than-ideal academic performance came to a head when I was placed on academic probation. Each semester I performed poorly in a class, I vowed that I would be better the next semester. I tried everything— one semester, I slept 8 hours no matter what, at the expense of completing homework assignments. The next, I pulled all-nighter after all-nighter, with the same results. This letter stating that I needed a break was devastating at the time— I would graduate a year behind my peers. I really liked the sound of class of 2024. Looking back, it was a necessary wake-up call. And 2025 is 452— a square number graduation year!
While taking a break from the academic intensity of CMU, I accomplished a few key things. I addressed my executive function and brain fog issues, improved my physical health, became one of the first students in the BESA program, and, most importantly, I built a community. With my nose buried in the (figurative) books all the time, there were few opportunities to leave campus and explore the amazing city of Pittsburgh. I was able to build connections in the transit advocacy space, which allowed me to begin formulating a plan for my capstone project in my new BXA program.
I often explain my move into the BXA program as “changing my major”. However, I believe that this was something far more exciting. At a school like Carnegie Mellon, with an incredibly robust arts program complementing the rigorous technical degrees, I wanted to take advantage of both. BXA offered an opportunity to meet peers doing absolutely incredible work, combining disciplines in ways that spark curiosity. Moving into such a unique program that allowed me to use my technical skills creatively (and vice versa) allowed me to diversify the work I did on a daily basis. I found myself excelling in classes almost immediately after my return to CMU. I took a class (18-372) on Power Systems, finding a niche that combined my interest in signal processing with the passion for infrastructure and energy. With renewed energy (pun intended), I raced to the finish line, planning my capstone event along the way (find out more about Pittsburgh Weekend of Urbanism here).
As I (albeit awkwardly) carried BXA’s flag at the head of our procession into Gesling Stadium, I reflected upon the long, winding road to get to this point. While I will credit myself with the resilience to push through my personal struggles, I want to extend my utmost gratitude to everyone who believed in me and helped me along the way. My friends, peers, baristas, mentors, advisors, professors, and especially my parents were instrumental in this journey. It truly takes a village and a tanker truck of coffee to… how does the saying go? Get a degree?
While I am truly sad to be leaving Pittsburgh for now, I’d say yinz better leave a parking chair there to save my spot for when I get back. I’m excited for the next steps in my journey, and to connect with even more amazing people wherever I go. This is the start of a new chapter of my life— onward and upward!